B.A.B.Y __ D.U.M.P.I.N.G
Saturday, November 14, 2015
What are your feeling during look at the pictures above?
Angry? Sad? Disappointing? I can guess... The answer is YES !
Last holiday, I was visited to my cousin's house who was
just delivered a baby. Her baby is so cute. The baby boy! I am so excited and
happy to see the baby. At a moment, I am starring at the baby face and
remembered to the hot issues about "Baby Dumping".
Usually, the case occur between a couple who do not married yet. An irresponsibility man make a women make an alternative by dumping the baby. What do you call mothers who dump their babies and fathers who run away when they know a baby is on the way? Unmentionables, but since this is family publication, let's just call them monsters.
Our country
unmarried teenage pregnancies has a chronic increase recently and many young
mums to be are estranged from their families. As a muslim, we believe that
child is a priceless gift from Allah SWT. However, lately the baby dumping
cases happen almost every day. Teenage parents give birth in a motel room and
leave the child for dead in a garbage. A girl gives birth in a school bathroom
at night and throws the baby into the garbage. These stories relate to one of the
most frightening realities of our culture today.
How could this problem keep on happening? There
are many factors that cause this problem continuously occurring in Malaysian
society. Lifestyle of teenagers itself, for example when they are in campus or
in college, the teenagers are free act
without parent’s control. Some of them date and try to do something as couple.
Sometimes they can make ‘‘something’’ out of their mind in which turning out to be out of their own
expectation. Just start with going out for a dinner by riding the same vehicle
together. If it is just for a dinner, then there is no problem. But if the
dinner’s over and they’re still together alone in a car, then that is not right and ‘something’ bad can happen. Perhaps
that ‘’something’’ can be call it as sumbang mahram or zina in Malay Language.
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Unmarried Couple
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Every boy and girl has to know their limitation of relationship. Parents should play their role in order to prevent their own children from social problem. Parents should give awareness about the dangerous of baby dumping, introduce true Islam to the children especially to the muslim youth about halal and haram in opposite sex relationship.
Besides that, by celebrating New Year’s Day and Valentine’s Day
are also the factors of baby dumping to happen. Most of the teenagers were
easily cajoled into having unmarried sex because they were naïve. During the New Year celebration and Valentine Day celebration, many
of teenage girls cheated by their boyfriends, saying that they had to prove
their love to their boyfriends by having sex together. As a naïve teenager of course they will do and give everything for their
sweetheart without thinking about the sins and problem that might be happening
in the future.
Once the teenagers find themselves
pregnant, they are about to fend for themselves, and they became estranged from
their family after they know about the pregnancy. Thus, causes the young mums
to be scared in dealing with feelings of fear, anger, disappointment and
confusion, therefore they take the easiest and fastest way out by abandon or
worse, by killing the baby (abortion, baby dumping).
The social stigma attached to
premarital pregnancies forces them to conceal and abandon the babies, leading
to horrifying deaths. As long as society refuses to accept reality, baby
dumping will continue to be a social whip in our country. Parents have to be
more open and supportive to help their girls manage their pregnancies. This
should not be viewed as condoning premarital sex. There is indeed a need for
change of mindset and the way of managing something in which had been done, in
this case the premarital sex.
On top of that, the widespread access
to porn and weakened family ties also has a link to the baby dumping. Effects
from globalization nowadays, youth today can easily have access to pornography online,
even through their mobile phones. The parents should play a role in controlling
their children’s activities inside and outside of the house.
They should know their children going out with whom and where did they go in
order to avoid their children from unhealthy activities and involve with social
problem.
Poverty is also another factor that
causes child dumping. Poor social welfare systems, not capable to pay the
medical bills and not financially capable of taking care of a child are more
likely the factors to dump the baby. Political conditions, such as difficulty
in adoption proceedings, may also contribute to child dumping. “Having one’s first child is the most stressful
experience someone can go through. Young mothers can be vulnerable, especially
if they are alone and do not have the experience or social support to cope.”-Dr Boulton, a child psychologist at the University of Keele.
Effects of baby dumping are on individuals itself, the baby and society.
On infants, it will give a problem cause contempt regarded by society as
adults, problems if you want to marry because there is no guardian and it will
difficult for schools because there is no birth registration. It may effects on
society too. The abortion will be mimicked by others. On individuals, it can
cause psychological effects on the mental and emotions after marriage, such as
depression, especially when age is often thought of as the content is never
removed.
The government, families, and
communities should take the role to overcome the baby dumping problem. There
are no easy solutions, and so we are required to expand our efforts to reach
prevention at a standstill. Steps must be taken to prevent unwanted
pregnancies.
Sexuality education, for example the
Ministry of Education agreed to implement a sex education. Recommends
communities provide comprehensive sexuality education to youths and families.
Education should strive to increase communication among youth, families, and
communities thus, can minimize the shame on unwanted pregnancy and make young
people want to take advantage off supports and services in their families and
communities.
In Conclusion, we can’t point our finger to anyone we want, but this time we have to examine
the best solution to reducing this social problem together.
Having sex after marriage is safer and
it can reduce the abortion and baby dumping rate. It also helps us be more
responsible and not to have sex just to satisfy our lust”.
“Motherhood is a great honor and privilege, yet it is also
synonymous with servanthood. Every day women are called upon to selflessly meet
the needs of their families. Whether they are awake at night nursing a baby,
spending their time and money on less-than-grateful teenagers, or preparing
meals, moms continuously put others before themselves.” - Charles Stanley
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